Powerlessness

POWERLESSNESS, well that word describes the day to a T. Sometimes we are reminded of how powerless we really are in this world. Whether it be your job, your life, your relationships, your computer....If you stop and think about it all, we are really powerless over just about everything in our lives except ourselves and our actions. I was reminded this today and I thank my Higher Power for this lesson in humility and powerlessness. We need these reminders to help us stay focused on what we are trying to accomplish.

In life we all have those days that are what I like to call 'Snowball Days' these are the days you wish you had a reset button for. Where one little thing starts the ball rolling and by 4 o'clock you want to punch someone or something really hard. :) I don't like to say I had a bad day, any day above ground is a good day, I like to say I had a challenging day. I also like to sit down at the end of those challenging days and reflect and process it so I can learn from it,  it is vital to my mental stability.

Life can be rough and it doesn't always go the way we plan, I think that it is important that we protect ourselves as best we can from these heartaches in life. Not to be guarded, well maybe a little, but not to the point that we close off the rest of the world and the people around us. I learned this recently and am thankful for the painful but VERY necessary lesson. When people are angry I have learned in my recovery that anger is almost always a secondary emotion. This feeling usually stems from an anger within ourselves about ourselves for some reason or decision. People tend to react to these types of situations as opposed to responding to them. Everyone processes their emotions differently I understand this, and that is ok. We must do what we can to be happy each and everyday, we must do our best to not take unnecessary risks with our health, mind, spirit, or heart. Like I was talking about being guarded earlier. Kids are a big way into the heart. Now I do not have kids but I have dated single moms. I tip my hat off to all the single mothers and fathers out there, I do not know how you do it. It is hard to come into that as an "outsider" kids have a way of getting into my heart very quickly. Maybe its because I am an overgrown child myself, that has responsibilities. It also is probably the reason I am a coach and an educator. Its hard getting attached to them and seeing them leave. I have to deal with this each year and season as they come to an end, also in relationships too. As always though it is a life lesson that needs to be learned.

Do what makes you happy and healthy! My pearl of wisdom for the day, if it is healthy and makes you happy.....my advice, DO IT! People are going to hate and run their mouth regardless of what you do, it's a part of life unfortunately. Some because they are jealous of you and your situation whether it be financial, social, physical, or even the freedom you possess. Some are going to be mad at you for a decision that they have made in their lives. We all get jealous, (if you are reading this shaking your head, you are lying to yourself) its human nature. How we deal with this jealousy is a whole different game though. Realizing what we are truly jealous of in a situation and then realizing what role did you play in it or what you can do to change your current position is where the real challenge lies. If you are doing what you enjoy to do and you are not hurting anyone else, why do you care what other people think?

 Through this blog and a recent re-commitment to myself I have started to understand the way my mind processes things. I have learned that I need to keep myself a priority if I am going to be able to grow in my life and my recovery. I hadn't been doing this for quite sometime and I felt like dookie. Well through my daily commitment to be better than I was the day before things are starting to look very good through my eyes now. I am ok with being powerless over people, places, and things. I am ok with knowing when I put an expectation on someone or something that I am setting myself up for a let down and disappointment. I am ok with the fact that I am not running the show. I am ok with the fact that even when I have a challenging day I get to go to a meeting and see my brothers and sisters and share it with them. I am also ok with the fact that I can take a lesson out of each day I live and work on it the next. No one is perfect we all have flaws and baggage. That's OK, we are human and we do what humans do. I hope you enjoyed reading this as always thank you for the support!