Today was one of those days that reflecting upon it tonight for which I am eternally grateful. I am grateful for the craziness this morning at Public Relations subcommittee, struggling with my own control issues, lets me know I am not cured. Grateful that I had the ability to work through my own shit and not take it out on anyone else. Grateful that I am able to be of service to Narcotics Anonymous. 4 years ago today I went to my first area, I was nominated to represent my home group at only 45 days clean. Not because I was so awesome or overly qualified, but because I was WILLING to do it. I walked in to this room with about 45 people that were being loud, obnoxious, and a little crazy. "This is area," I thought to myself. I had heard tales of people screaming, calling names, and even throwing chairs at others (I pictured Roadhouse the movie)
Well I have yet to see anything thrown at anyone else or any names being called out of spite, or screaming at the top of their lungs. Maybe some raised voices but it does get pretty loud in their so you have to speak up. The thing of it is, we are all very passionate about many things, but one thing in particular....SERVICE WORK. After my head stopped spinning I settled down and was able to take it all in and try my best to figure it out. 4 years later I am still trying to figure it out. :) I made a decision that I wanted to be Area's Chairperson some day long down the road and many years later. I have been in service ever since and honestly can't see myself doing it any other way.
I have had many positions in service in the time I have been clean and served many different bodies. (not those kinds of bodies) bodies as in committees. Well today I was nominated for Chair of course me being me I started to have all these doubts in my mind about not being ready or not being able to fulfill the job's duties. Than my Ride or Die brother in recovery Brandon told me that I wouldn't have been nominated if I wasn't ready. I have said this before, things happen exactly as they should and the man upstairs only puts people and situations in your life when he believes you can handle them. Well I guess my I am ready or at least that is what I have been told. I have some GIANT shoes to fill with the last 3 chairs having all had 9+ years of recovery and a ton of knowledge. If I am elected I am going to do my best to be the best Chair I can be.
One of the many things I have been able to accomplish in the last 4 years I am grateful for. With all of the success and failures I have had since getting clean, not once did I think going back out was a good decision. I owe all my success and growth to the people I have met over the past few years and the program of Narcotics Anonymous. As always, thank you for reading my blog. I hope you enjoyed the sweet picture I added for a little bit of awesomeness. The picture is from when he was fighting that dude by the water and ripped his throat out. EPIC SHIT.....hahaha
