Faith is a tricky subject so me being me, I am going to think out loud here. I have recently been struggling with my faith and if I am truly living in the will of the man upstairs. These are my own issues/character defects that I struggle with. I am working on it, but am still kind of a control freak. (those that know me are nodding their heads yes right now I am sure) like I said I am working on it. I have to remind myself about 20 times what my sponsor has told me and even wrote it on a piece of paper that I hung in my room......LET GO! I take a deep breath and let things go, it is tough for me to do but its a work in progress. Things happen for a reason as they should and when they should, I believe, I really do. I try to take each situation as a learning experience and make the right choice to not repeat the insanity again. I noticed when I respond to a situation as opposed to react things work out much better for me. What is that saying FTW (First Thought Wrong) I need to take time to think things through and not read to deeply into a situation. As an addict I really have to stop myself from thinking the worst for every situation and take things for what they are. I read into things and manipulate my thought process to believe what I want to, usually not a good thing for me to be doing. All I can do is not hide my defects of character, work on them daily, and pray that I am living HIS will not mine. I tried to do things on my own in my 20's and it didn't work too well for me. I do revert back to my old ways and impose my will on a few situations instead of letting go and letting things happen as they should, not how I want them to. Well I guess I put that defect out in the light of exposure so maybe with me putting me out there someone will find strength or realize they are not alone in this world. I know that the man upstairs is looking out for me and 'Everything's going to be alright!' just me working on my stuff! Kind of ironic that I am dealing with these defects of character while I am working my 6th step.....if you don't know what it is.....you have a homework assignment. Love and blessings to all!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Faith in different forms
I thought I would start this entry with the Just For Today email I just got.....This one is for tomorrow, it starts like this "These defects grow in the dark and die in the light of exposure."
Faith is a tricky subject so me being me, I am going to think out loud here. I have recently been struggling with my faith and if I am truly living in the will of the man upstairs. These are my own issues/character defects that I struggle with. I am working on it, but am still kind of a control freak. (those that know me are nodding their heads yes right now I am sure) like I said I am working on it. I have to remind myself about 20 times what my sponsor has told me and even wrote it on a piece of paper that I hung in my room......LET GO! I take a deep breath and let things go, it is tough for me to do but its a work in progress. Things happen for a reason as they should and when they should, I believe, I really do. I try to take each situation as a learning experience and make the right choice to not repeat the insanity again. I noticed when I respond to a situation as opposed to react things work out much better for me. What is that saying FTW (First Thought Wrong) I need to take time to think things through and not read to deeply into a situation. As an addict I really have to stop myself from thinking the worst for every situation and take things for what they are. I read into things and manipulate my thought process to believe what I want to, usually not a good thing for me to be doing. All I can do is not hide my defects of character, work on them daily, and pray that I am living HIS will not mine. I tried to do things on my own in my 20's and it didn't work too well for me. I do revert back to my old ways and impose my will on a few situations instead of letting go and letting things happen as they should, not how I want them to. Well I guess I put that defect out in the light of exposure so maybe with me putting me out there someone will find strength or realize they are not alone in this world. I know that the man upstairs is looking out for me and 'Everything's going to be alright!' just me working on my stuff! Kind of ironic that I am dealing with these defects of character while I am working my 6th step.....if you don't know what it is.....you have a homework assignment. Love and blessings to all!
Faith is a tricky subject so me being me, I am going to think out loud here. I have recently been struggling with my faith and if I am truly living in the will of the man upstairs. These are my own issues/character defects that I struggle with. I am working on it, but am still kind of a control freak. (those that know me are nodding their heads yes right now I am sure) like I said I am working on it. I have to remind myself about 20 times what my sponsor has told me and even wrote it on a piece of paper that I hung in my room......LET GO! I take a deep breath and let things go, it is tough for me to do but its a work in progress. Things happen for a reason as they should and when they should, I believe, I really do. I try to take each situation as a learning experience and make the right choice to not repeat the insanity again. I noticed when I respond to a situation as opposed to react things work out much better for me. What is that saying FTW (First Thought Wrong) I need to take time to think things through and not read to deeply into a situation. As an addict I really have to stop myself from thinking the worst for every situation and take things for what they are. I read into things and manipulate my thought process to believe what I want to, usually not a good thing for me to be doing. All I can do is not hide my defects of character, work on them daily, and pray that I am living HIS will not mine. I tried to do things on my own in my 20's and it didn't work too well for me. I do revert back to my old ways and impose my will on a few situations instead of letting go and letting things happen as they should, not how I want them to. Well I guess I put that defect out in the light of exposure so maybe with me putting me out there someone will find strength or realize they are not alone in this world. I know that the man upstairs is looking out for me and 'Everything's going to be alright!' just me working on my stuff! Kind of ironic that I am dealing with these defects of character while I am working my 6th step.....if you don't know what it is.....you have a homework assignment. Love and blessings to all!
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